2 Aug 2005
Last night at the very end of my dream....about what i don't know....I came up to George Bush dancing with his mother. They really didn't want to acknowledge my presence....but after continually asking them if they wanted to meet my lama ~ finally george stopped dancing with his mother and agreed....he was standing there waiting with his evil eyes...and I touched Barbara...she was so so deeply sad and what seemed like on death's doorstep. We shall see if this means anything.
3 August
Well, I didn't have any special dreams that I can remember from last night....but I had a moment of understanding of dream that i recently had.....
I was rushing back and forth stressing out with a really heavy backpack on my back ....my son and I were going to board a plane to Japan.....going to meet the man that I work with on the zen scroll gallery that I work on.....and I was completely stressed out....my inside voice said to me....if you take the stones out of your backpack....you won't even feel it anymore....I did it and the backpack couldn't be felt anymore........then today Shambhala released a book called What the Stones Remember.....so, to me it said...if I put down all of those memories that I hold on to i won't feel my life on my back....
that was my feeling.
8Aug
I just dreamt that there was a big bear that was living in my friend Lora's house....as i typed this I had a memory of a bear coming onto her porch a long time ago in real life....but this bear wasn't acting like a traditional bear....somehow there were stallls in this dream....and other animal people....people that kept animals that is.....this bear was staying and sleeping like a domesticated animal....until one day....she tried to eat a baby goat....and so I had to send her home....and I diagnosed her as being schizophrenic and somehow cured her by yelling at her...and telling her that she had to get to work and that she couldn't just lay around and take other people's animals she had to hunt for her food out in the wild....she cleared her mind and set off.
who knows what that meant.
found this online this morning:
If a man is sick, I turn into a bear
the Great Bear of the First Creation
my fur is all white but no polar bear
I'm the Bear of the First Creation
I lick my paws all over seize hold of that man
squeeze him tight wherever it hurts him
then I blow all over his body with my healing breath
the Spirit Breath of First Creation
-Reindeer Chukchee (Asiatick Eskimo) Spirit Spirit (c 1900)
14 August. Sun 6.45am
I just woke up from a wonderful dream...kind of a personal healing dream or something....it was supposed to be my birthday ....and someone threw a party for me in a public space....like a theater or something..so many of my old friends came ....but somehow it turned into a rainbow gathering...it was huge.....but everyone was there for my birthday....Loden was running around....but then somehow his fahter showed up and tried to put clothing on him....and in doing so he completely removed all of his clothing...I was all confused about how the party/gathering would affect Loden...but the last thing that I remember seeing was a bus on a track that was run by pedals....it was a short school bus and there were lots of kids in it...and they were going to school...and somehow my inside voice told me that it was the future...somehow there was a guy that was supposed to be my boyfriend protesting native american treatment and gaming.
who knows.
8 sept 7.23am
i was kept in bed longer today
my dreams haven't been as surreal lately
but last night there wa sjust one....somehow i may have been given a healing by either an alpaca or a llama.....he was white and wooly it was as though he wanted me to ride him but he had just been captured by people....and he was frightened ~ they were telling me how much this creature works with women and how much his breed of animal tends to fall in love with women....i held him very closely for a long time....but somehow was hosted and called out of the dream...
i was also in an office...and it was apparant that people didn't really care about what my particular perspective and feelings were....there was an old co-worker of mine who was tending all these plants but somehow she still worked for my boss but didn't understand....there was a huge pool of water that had a magical quality to it....but someone had just bathed in it and done a tiny poop in it....my son got in a was playing...but i asked him to get out and I would draw him some new water...but in doing so somehow i lost the pool....then the image of the alpaca/llama came. we were separated though. This animal was white and freshly shorn.
October 29I neglected to log that the other night I dreamt that my boss---well the owner of the company that I work for fed me a green liquid from an abalone shell...not unlike the image above...minus the wicks...that image is a sweetgrass candle....who knows....last night i had a few cognative experiences while dreaming...I dreamt that some faeries were telling me that they didn't appreciate the shopping bag that I left in their space filled with junk....i somehow in my dream remembered my housecleaning and that I left a shopping bag around the house with stuff in it....when I awoke I found that it was directly in front of my faery card table....I wish I could remember what else because last night my dreams were extremely active....
10.30 4.58am
I was just pushed out of sleep....hmm.
okay, I was at a party ~~ a work party I think ....and the man that I help with his scroll sales was there John Stevens Sensei....and we were in a jacuzzi ~~on the side of a pool.....i took off all my clothing...and he was admiring my tatoo....then disappeared speaking with another girl that I work with....
then out of no where as i was sitting there alone bruce willis came up and talked to me and asked me if i was the same woman as last christmas....and that he so deeply appreciated my light and that there were very few people with a light like me....he even walked up to me as I stood on my head in the jacuzzi nude....he didn't care...but had a hard time getting too close because of who he was....he wrote me a letter on his business card which pretty much told me he needed me....what the heck...symbolism I guess.
10 December 2005
last night I dreamt of discovering dead birds outdoors....I collected them all on a blanket...and brought them in the house...they were all very small and dear....when they got warm they came back to life...and there was even a baby owl.....and i convinced him (with telepathy) to hop up on to my wrist....he stayed there for a while...then I let all the birds go out the door...into a green garden....hhhhhmmmm..
7 January 2006
Last night, well early morning, I dreamt that I was in a large gathering of sound healers....but I was being skeptical and judgemental and they could tell and they just wished that I would get my shit together and start making my sound....
16 January 2006 ~~ two days after the full moon
I had another dream of BK. I don't understand why he can into my dreams so often. In the morning I found an email telling me about the Kalachakra.
27 January 2006
Last night I dreamt the strangest thing--- there were all of these scenes....but one was people with sexual addictions --- acting them out with pain in their hearts --- for some reason I could see through their mental imbalance....but they were all acting things out....I never dream about sex....esp not about me having sex....but this was something.....I wonder. it showed sex as an ism like alcholism...or something....like an obsessive force that eats people up and is beyond their power of control.
5 February 2006
Since my last input I have continued to have dreams of a negative nature...every night. Last night, I dreamt that some people were left with me for a meeting about Zen art....and I was a complete shamble (which is true, but still) it was weird, but luckily the power of the art spoke for itself.
10 Feb 2006
HA-- Last night I dreamt that my best friend was nagging me not to get so hung up on a certain guy ( although, the guy had no name)---it was just too illogical...and moments later I stepped into a puddle almost over my head...my whole body was immersed...I was in no danger...and felt alone and content and full of laughter...and my advising friend disapeared.
..
The night leading into the day of Losar I dreamt that I was the attendant at the stupa of Dudjom Rinpoche. I was left alone to guard his remains...I reached in and spread his ashes on my face, although in a way I felt it was wrong to do, I kind of had to do it, I revelled in it...and then later tried to wash the black off of my face, but it was there permanently. It has become part of me
I then moved on to becoming an earth guardian with my friend Skotty. Black face and all---my forhead was still white...and the area around my eyes, but my cheeks and nose and all around my mouth were covered with the ash.
26 March 2006 3.42am
I just awoke from a dream of a friend trying with all their might to get to Tibet by train, I travelled by foot to their rail to see them off
and came to find tha the way was frozen solid and that they had to use a drill to get through the ice and it could take a lifetime--but they had the perserverence to keep trying
I said, oh what are you crazy
and I went home
and did was in my waking life seems like
practiced Tumo -- and sent all of this heat
and warmed the ice and came through the other side and
met the train that had been using their drill like a narwal
to get through
i saw no people that i knew
but did see people that were amazed that I could get through the very very thick ice.
Loden woke me up with his fussing, like go write that down mother, and then when I was trying to be lazy, some horns blew outside 123, write it down.
silliness. Today is the day that I put Linda Crane on my page. Seems kind of obvious to me what this dream was supposed to mean, acknowledge and release. Another thing that comes to mind, go from the inside out.
7 May 2006
Ooooh, Last night I dreamt of so many animals! They each visited one by one.....silver fox, deer, antelope and lastly I was attacked by a BEAR~~ woo hoo.
I bought a medicine pouch yesterday by a native american man ~~ ooh, powerful medicine. I wish that I could remember all the animals..exactly as they were. ooh, thank you.
16 May 2006
This time I can say I am confused~ or scared perhaps...
I dreamt a huge image of the Solar Culture picture...very big...I didn't know why it was so large...it took up the whole view
the later I dreamt that I was in big trouble at work and that I had to negotiate myself out of some judgement made by DM and trying to justify and beg my position to JG. It just so happened that SL came in for lunch and wisked me away and took me places and spoke with me about myself and the future...and his freedoms. I know that this dream could have been from fear...I did apply moonstone oil before bed and was pushed from sleep with this dream still around me.
I am scared to run from heaven.
